As its name infers, many have said to me, “you never stop…you must have ants in your pants”. I don’t disagree. Rather, I like to call it, my insatiable never ending curiosity.
Over the past year, my life has seen many ups and downs, highs and lows. It was overwhelming at times, and I found myself determined to find happiness. Given this, I decided to share my experiences, both the good, bad and the ugly, as a means of not only expressing myself but also letting those that read this blog know there is hope one can be happy in what can feel like, at times, a lonely world.
Before I get too far ahead of myself, let me start by saying that by the time I hit my mid-40’s, my desire to be happy became a need I could no longer ignore. As a mother of three, with two teenagers at home, I was bound and determined to provide what I had deemed a stable home in which both parents remained. However, as time went on, the communication between my former spouse and I became non-existent and the shear distaste for each other was abundantly clear. The tension was so thick that it was difficult to see the true impact this was having on all of us both individually and collectively. Through therapy, I was asked one very simple but impactful question, “what are you teaching your children what to expect in a healthy relationship”? For those that know me, it’s unlike me to find myself speechless but on that day and at that very minute, I was frozen. Here I thought I was setting the right example (and for some that is the case) but without sharing 20 years of painful detail, the relationship between my then husband and I was non-existent and had become combative. In that moment, will trying to formulate a response, I realized three things. One, “is this what I want my daughter and son to expect from her relationships”? Two, “is this what I want to teach my children how to treat a significant other or how he/she should expect to be treated?” Third, “it’s not selfish for me to want to be happy and each one of us deserves to be happy”?.
While the road has not been easy, I am trying to figure out who I want to be in this next chapter of my life. For a long time, I felt like the only one facing these very issues. It was only recently when I seemed to have pulled myself out of my funk and realized I am going to be ok. Better yet, I’m going to be great! Therefore, I thought I would share a host of things in my journey to happiness. I hope what I share on my blog provides a bit of strength, hope and a lot of laughter.
We only have one life and I intend to make it count!
Thanks for visiting!